Pop Culture Uber
by SkorchNTorch
Summary: Meet Axle, he's a normal guy with a normal job as an Uber driver. However... The people (and he uses that term lightly sometimes) aren't so normal. Got suggestions? Leave em' in the review!
1. A Giant Lego Hand?

Location: Who cares?

Time: WAY too early to care.

Axel groaned annoyed as one of his phones buzzed on the nightstand next to his bed. If he was anyone else, he'd throw it against a wall and go back to sleep, but if _this_ phone was buzzing, that meant he had a job. He pushed his hair out from his face and looked at the screen, which read 'UNKNOWN NUMBER'. Sighing, he answered the call.

"Yeah?" He asked, trying to sound awake.

"Hey, any chance you can give us a lift?" Came a deep, gruff voice on the other side of the line.

"Depends, where are you?" Axle groaned, rubbing his face. One the one hand, he wanted to hang up and go back to sleep, but on the other hand, money.

"We're at the bottom of the hill near the old Church off of fifty-sixth and Mignola lane." The voice replied. "Used to be called 'Eternal Night' or something like that."

"We?" Axel asked, suddenly realizing there was more than one on the line.

"Yeah, there's three of us." The voice said, as if that was obvious. "That an issue?"

"Naw, man. Does it matter if the car is nice or do you just wanna get somewhere?"

"We just need to get across town, nothing to fancy." The voice answered. "Don't really care how we get there, but we'd prefer to keep it on the down low."

"Alright, I'll be there in like… fifteen minutes, twenty tops. Look for a dark blue van, I'll flash the lights twice. That's me."

"Alright." Was all the voice said before hanging up.

Axle sighed, knowing he had to get up and get to work. As he pulled some shorts on he thought about his 'job'. It was a simple and completely legal one. He was an Uber driver, the job was supposed to be easy, get a call, pick them up, drop them off, get paid. That's what the ad had said when he signed up, but he was wrong. Sort of. The company was legitimate, nothing shady or underhanded, honestly. But Axel had decided to take the 'Special Divisions' contract, and this often meant waking up late at night or at rather… unsavoury times to fulfil his contracts. One thing Axel had grown accustomed to was the idea of keeping his mouth shut. Sure, he'd talk as they drove to their location, but he had made it sort of a personal choice not to talk about _who_ he drove or what they were doing. He figured everyone would be happier that way, and to be honest, they were. He had little to no complaints, and was paid nearly triple what he'd normally make; not to mention that sometimes-certain groups added a contribution for his services and that was on top of the money he had from his family. Guzzling down a mug of black coffee, Axel grabbed a specific set of keys and got into his van, looking at the small cage on the dashboard, and small furry face looked back with wide eyes before squeaking curiously.

"Hey Ragnarök." He smirked. "We're off to work."

Turning the keys in the ignition, Axle pulled out of his garage and left as quietly as possible from his home, heading down the road leading to the highway. He clicked on his radio and hit the CD option, and a familiar guitar riff began playing. Axle nodded along as Pink Floyd's _Wish You Were Here_ softly played in the car interior, cutting through the silence aside from the sound of his car and Ragnarök rustling about in his cage. He looked over out the window at the darkened countryside. Only now did he realize he was wearing the shirt he slept in. That was another thing he liked about this job, he could show up in a onesie and there wouldn't be any questions, probably. He hoped. Axle cracked his jaw to one side as he peered out a window, then turning onto an old dirt road. The tires on his car suddenly seeming to grumble against the dirt. After another few minutes of silence and driving, Axle saw the church illuminated by the moon up on a hill. He gradually slowed down and looked around for his contact. Then raised a brow when he saw a huge red figure wearing an overcoat smoking a cigar. He had a giant stone-like right hand, and a tail coming out from behind him. Next to him was a creature that looked eerily similar to the creature from the black lagoon wearing thick glasses and what looked like a toilet seat around his neck, then there was the third person. She looked totally normal. Like, nothing off about her. Axle paused for a moment then shrugged, deciding it was all part of the job, and flashed the lights. The three figures noticed and walked over to the van, Axle rolled down the window and leaned out.

"Yo. You guys call for a ride?"

"Damn right." The giant red man nodded. "We all gonna fit?"

"Only one way to find out." Axle shrugged nonchalantly.

The woman walked around and got in shotgun, leaving the other two to figure out who was sitting where. Eventually, the fish dude sat behind Axle and the red dude managed to fit into the back as well. It was a bit cramped, but he didn't seem to mind. If he had horns, they'd probably be stuck in the roof now.

"You mind if I smoke?" He asked.

"Knock yourself out." Axle shrugged, knowing better than to argue with the devil-dude. "Th'name's Axle by the way."

"Liz." The woman coolly replied.

"You can call me Abe." The fish man (now named Abe) stated, and Axle looked to the last, uh… man. Well, calling him a man would be a _very_ large understatement, considering the fact that he was not only red skinned, had a tail, was crunched into the back of the car, but also had a giant stone fist for a right hand.

"What's your name?" Axle asked offhandedly, turning the key over and backing the vehicle up.

"Anung Un-Rama." The man commented, and Axle cast a glance into the mirror with a raised brow. "Hey, you asked pal."

"We call him Red. Or Hellboy." Liz, the woman smirked. "Who's the little guy?"

"Him? That's Ragnarök, the World Eater." Axle commented, casting a glance to the hamster who was running in his wheel, which was squeaking somewhat. However, the small, furry rodent stopped and seemed to look at Liz, as if he understood they were talking about him. "Should he ever escape his cage, the world would be destroyed."

"I know the feeling." Hellboy drawled in agreement. "Seems like everyone these days has some sort of world-destroying prophecy attached to them…"

"You alright back there?" Axle asked, unsure of what else to say, or if he should remain silent.

"Yeah, everything's just peachy." Hellboy said with a roll of his eyes, clearly cramped in the back of the vehicle.

"He always like this?" Axle asked with a tired smirk.

"No. This is one of his good days." Liz replied with a shake of her head.

"Well, I would go so far as to venture that it's better you don't currently have your horns." Abe commented, Hellboy just grumbled in response.

"Yeah, yeah." He said dismissively. "Never did like those damn things anyways, real itchy someday."

"And on the other days, you got stuck in the doorways." Liz smiled.

"Really?" Axle asked amused.

"Yeah, several times we had to get a crowbar or butter. Sometimes both." Liz chuckled at the memories.

"Hey kid, how much for you to punch her?" Hellboy suddenly asked.

"You want me to punch a woman? How low do you think I'm willing to go for money?" Axle replied, a slight mocking tone in his voice, but still somewhat monotone.

"I got fifty on me." Hellboy simply said.

"…well…"

"Unless you want to experience your face being violently burned, I would highly suggest not agreeing to this proposition." Abe said, leaning over slightly.

"Wait, what?" Axle said, genuinely surprised.

"I can make fire kid." Liz said. "Wanna see?" After that, she created a small flame on the tips of her fingers and waved them mysteriously.

"No, not here." Axle shook his head. "I don't want the car damaged and I don't think Ragnarök would enjoy the heat either. That's awesome though."

The sound of metal clattering was heard as Ragnarök was currently chewing on one of the bars on his cage before suddenly running off to a small plastic house.

The car went silent for a bit as they continued on their way, occasionally, Abe's… thing would bubble a little, (Axle was assuming this was so he could breathe) but other than that it was quiet.

"So, uh… What's with the…" Axle began awkwardly.

"If you're asking about the toilet seat is, it's so he can breathe." Hellboy smirked, noticing Axel casting a glance into the mirror. Axel laughed slightly, Hellboy gave a deep laugh, even Liz stifled one.

"It's not a toilet seat! It's a breathing apparatus!" Abe exclaimed, somewhat offended. Axel now was doing his best not to laugh, not wanting to get a bad rating… Wait a second, why would he care? He didn't work like those other drivers! But still, it probably was best not to piss of a guy who was friends with a big stone-fisted dude and a woman who could shoot fire out of her hands.

"Actually, I was asking about the Lego hand…" Axle muttered, awkwardly. "I get it, in my contract I ain't really supposed to question who I'm drivin' but I'm genuinely curious man. What IS that thing?"

"Well, it's called the Right Hand of Doom." Hellboy said with a cramped shrug.

"That name is awesome." Axle stated, and Hellboy chuckled.

"Yeah, well, it was designed to open a portal that would bring about the end of the world. Y'know, fire, brimstone, a giant demonic dragon, all that good stuff." Hellboy commented in a dry but amused tone.

"Huh. I thought it was for the world's greatest high-five." Axel simply replied, not looking back.

Surprisingly (to Abe and Liz at least), Hellboy gave a genuine laugh at that before sighing.

"Well, it you like being high-fived by the force of a thousand sledgehammers, then this is your lucky day kid. But something tells me Rasputin didn't plan to use it for that. "

"I'll take your word for it chief." He smirked before stepping on the brakes at an intersection, suddenly realizing what Hellboy had said. Rasputin? Like, the dude in that obnoxiously catchy song? He wanted to ask them about that, but he had a feeling in his gut this wasn't something to ask about. The silence returned and Axle turned the radio back on and began flipping through a few channels. He wasn't a fan of modern rap, or rap in general. Sure, there was some good stuff, but nowadays, it didn't have the same story, the same impact and meaning it used to. After three or four stations, he stopped when he heard a familiar song, and the other two guys in the car seemed to recognize it as well.

"Ain't heard this song in a while…" Hellboy mused with a smirk. "My dad loved this song…"

"Ironic, my dad introduced me to this song when I was a kid." Axle smiled, thinking back to when he was a kid. After the introduction of the song, the three boys began to sing along.

"You know I can't smile without you…" Axel, Hellboy and Abe all began quietly singing, Liz looked to them, a brow raised in disbelief.

"You boys amaze me…" She muttered, before looking to the cage. "Do you always have to put up with this?" She asked the hamster. Ragnarök stopped eating a sunflower seed and looked at her before he ran over to his water bottle.

"I can't smile without you… I can't laugh and I can't smile…" They continued with their song.

"It's sing! Not smile!" Hellboy chided Axle when he messed up the lyrics.

"What? It's sing? I thought it was smile…" Axle muttered.

The song and karaoke continued, and it was both surprisingly on-key and yet horrifically off-key at the same time. While it started out quietly, by the end, all three were belting the song at full volume.

"I'm finding it hard to do anything! You see I feel glad when you're glad! I feel sad when you're sad…"

All the while, Liz seemed to have a look that said _I will never let any of you live this down_. But since she didn't have a phone, there wasn't much she could do. But it was clear she wished she could. So, she was just laughing to herself and listening to the mixture of a fish man, a teenager and a half-demon all singing Barry Manilow. As the song came to a close, they all held the last note before laughing.

"You three should start a bad." Liz commented.

"That would be interesting, but I don't believe society would be too accepting of us…" Abe nodded thoughtfully.

"Well, if they can accept Team 10, 6ix9ine, a guy who calls himself The Living Tombstone and Bob Dylan…"

"Bob Dylan's a great musician, watch what you say." Hellboy warned.

"So is TLT, I'm just saying, maybe it's not the most far-fetched idea." Axle reasoned. "We could start as a cover band, not show our faces."

"Maybe we could get helmets like those Daft Punk fellas." Hellboy mused.

"And what would you call yourselves?" Liz asked, amused. The three thought it over until Abe spoke up.

"Abe-Un Axelama?"

There was some laughter from the car and Axle shook his head.

"Maybe we should leave the singing to the musicians." He commented.

"Oh, hang on." Liz suddenly said, noticing a street sign. "Up here, third house on the left."

Axle nodded and pulled into the driveway. There was a small house with a single light on upstairs, Axle turned back to the others.

"This it?" He asked.

"Yup." Hellboy nodded. "Thanks for the lift kid."

"No problem." Axle said with a wave. "Good luck with… whatever you guys are doing."

"See ya kid." Liz smiled as she got out of the car. When Hellboy exited, the car seemed to bounce, Abe slipped out and waved to Axle as the trio walked towards the house. Axle looked at his phone, seeing a notification that funds had been transferred to one of his accounts. He smiled and put the car into reverse, getting ready to go home and go back to bed. This job may be annoying at times, but people like this made it all worth it.


	2. Who Ya Gonna Call?

Axle was lying on his roof, feeling the cool wind blow past. The sun had passed its highest peak and was now beginning its slow decline towards the other side of the sky, gradually bringing this day to a close. Axel felt bored, it had been about a week since his last contract, and while he certainly wasn't low on money, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy getting out every now and then. As for why he didn't call up some friends and go to town, well, that required you to _have_ friends to begin with. Sure, Axle had some friends, he wasn't an anti-social outcast or hermit in any sense of the word, but the issue more came with the fact that his friends worked regular jobs, and his schedule was all over the place. Some weeks he'd have two or three contracts a day, other times he'd be one a week if he was lucky. The only good thing about this was it allowed him to have time to focus on his hobbies. Currently, he was designing a 3-D replica of a basketball team's logo with pearler beads. He forgot what the team's name was exactly, something like Spartans… Axle didn't remember, but they had a cool logo, a green helmet with a golden visor. As he continued spreading the beads out, he looked up over his backyard; it wasn't much, but he liked it. Thanks to his job, Axle was able to afford a house that wasn't in the middle of the country, but also wasn't in the middle of the city either. Maybe it was what he had seen over the years, or maybe he just suffered from anxiety, but Axle tried to avoid big cities unless he was there for a job.

Speaking of which.

Axle's thoughts were shattered when his phone began ringing, he cursed himself for setting such an obnoxious and shrill ringtone, but he wanted to make sure he heard it. Looking back at the work he was commissioned to do, he sighed as he noticed his last ten minutes were now undone, as the beads were spread around him. Still, he could get back to this… eventually.

"Hello?" He asked in his usual tone.

"Hey pal, uh… We're kinda in a spot right now, we were on our way to do a job and our car broke down…" A middle-aged voice came from the other end of the line, until a much deeper voice yelled somewhere off to the side:

"That's a lie and you know it Venkman! You took the Ecto-1 out to try and pick up girls and forgot to fill the tank! Not to mention you hit that fire hydrant as well!"

"Okay, well that last one wasn't exactly _my_ fault." The man, 'Venkman' tried to defend himself. "Slimer wanted to try driving and I had a little bit more to drink than I should've an-"

"You let _SLIMER_ drive!?" The deeper voice yelled, clearly in shock and a hint of anger. "No wonder the car's in such bad shape! What else did you do!? Try and go off-roading?!"

Axle simply remained silent as the other end of the line went silent as well. Axle chuckled slightly, shaking his head.

"Peter, I swear. If you actually-"

"Look, can you pick us up?" 'Venkman' asked. "We're at 42 Phelan street, just past the family diner. We're kind of in a hurry."

"Sure, on my way to the car as we speak." Axle said, walking over and beginning to climb down the ladder to the ground. "How many of you are there?"

"Five." 'Venkman' replied.

"Do you care about style? Or do you just wanna get there fast?" Axle continued as he walked over to his garage.

"Both."

"Venkman…"

"Alright, be there ASAP. My ETA is eight minutes, look for a grey challenger. That'll be me." Axle instructed as he grabbed a set of keys off of a large wooden board.

"Got it. See you then."

His client hung up first and Axle rubbed his face, trying to become fully awake. He walked over to his van and carried Ragnarök's cage over to the challenger and set him in, strapping his little hamster pal into the latches that held his cage on the dashboard. As he was getting in, he felt his stomach growl, it dawned on him he hadn't eaten all day and ran back into his house. Lookin around, he saw a box sticking out of the bags he brought home yesterday but was too lazy to put away. Grabbing the box of Twinkies, he ran back to his car and jumped in, put the keys into the ignition and left for work.

As Axle kept driving, he cracked his jaw, the radio quietly playing as he drove to his next job. After a few minutes, he pulled up and saw four men wearing beige jumpsuits and strange-looking backpacks standing in front of a white Cadillac that seemed to have been modified to the extreme. Two of the men seemed to be arguing with one another, one of them seemed to be reading some sort of device, and the other was leaning against the car watching the two argue. Finally, he noticed Axle pull up and walked over to the car.

"You our driver?" He asked.

"Yup." Axle nodded, he recognized their car, but forgot form where.

"Rides here boys! Let's roll!" The man called, and everyone looked up, then grabbed some gear and hurried over. Axle popped the trunk and they loaded their supplies into the car before getting in.

"Wait. Did you say there was five of you?" Axle asked, looking at the four men. Immediately after saying that, a green blob seemed to fly through the window. Literally. Axle was taken aback but didn't show it too much as a green ghost with yellow eyes and arms (but oddly no legs) was now in the middle of the backseat.

"Oh, okay then." Axle said aloud. Sure, he had seen a few weird things during his time as a driver (his mind flashed back to his last contract) but he had never seen a ghost. "Um… Am I seeing that?"

"Oh, don't worry about Slimer, kid." One of the men said as he got in shotgun next to Axle. "He's a friendly ghost."

"Ah… Okay then…" Axle muttered, while 'Slimer' waved to him. Axle gave an awkward wave back.

"Allow us to introduce ourselves, I'm Dr. Peter Venkman." Venkman introduced himself, reaching his hand out. Axle seemed confused, then realized what he was waiting for and shook the scientists' hand.

"I'm Dr. Raymond Stantz, but everyone just calls me 'Ray'." Ray introduced himself from the back.

"Egon Spengler, PhD." The man with glasses introduced himself as he kept looking at a device he was holding, his tone that of a scientist.

"And I'm Winston Zeddemore." Winston concluded. "We're the Ghostbusters."

"Oh yeah, I've heard about you guys." Axle mused as he drove off down the road. "Wasn't there some big thing that happened in New York like ten years ago? Something like a giant…. Was it a giant taco?"

"No, it was a giant marshmallow." Venkman. "That… Oh boy, that was a bit of a mess…"

"Still, it could have been worse." Ray shrugged, making the others look at him. "What? It could've been a giant flaming hell beast."

"Ray, we've been over this time and time again. It dosen't matter what it _could_ have been. It _still happened._ Before you say anything, yes. It was your fault as well."

"So, where we heading?" Axle asked, trying to ignore the argument in the back seat.

"Sink or Swim Fish and Chips." Venkman replied. "We have reports of the ghost of a pirate captain who's been terrorizing the shop looking for his gold."

Axle didn't reply, he looked forward and blinked a few times, Venkman smirked, understanding the kid's disbelief and simply chuckled.

"Hey, it may sound crazy, but there's a ghost in the backseat. So, I don't think you can play the 'Ghost's Aren't Real' card in this scenario."

"I wasn't planning on it." Axle shook his head. "Look, I'm kinda superstitious, I can believe ghosts are real, even before meeting you guys. But a _pirate_ ghost attacking a fish and chips store? That just…"

"Cliché, yeah. It is." Winston remarked. "But then again, we've delt with mob bosses in Italian resturaunts, DJs in nightclubs, a nun in an ammunition production factory-"

"I'm sorry, what?!" Axle suddenly exclaimed.

"Okay, so, that placed used to be a church like two hundred years ago." Venkman spoke up, seeing the disbelief on Axle's face. "Legend says that when the factory was built, the spirit was awoken due to the negative effects bullets tend to have. The company was legit, they just sort of got the short end of the stick on that one."

Axle nodded, that made more sense. Sure, he was still finding those events hard to believe, but no matter what argument he could come up with, there was a ghost in the back of his car. His arguments were invalid. The car went silent for a few minutes. Venkman seemed to be watching Ragnarök, Ray was watching the town lights become more and more developed as they approached the town. Egon was looking at some device, studying a sample of Ectoplasm he brought with him, and Winston seemed to be asleep. Axle cast a quick glance to his right and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw that Slimer was right next to him.

"Gah! Oh, hey." Axle said, collecting his breath. Slimer made an odd sound, and Axle took it as Slimer saying 'Hello'. "So, uh, this may seem weird, but were you a member of the Ghostbusters who became a ghost? Or are you like an unofficial mascot?"

Slimer shook his head and proceeded to say… something. But Axle shrugged, feeling a little awkward that he couldn't understand what he was being told.

"That's a bit of a story kid." Peter spoke up. "We don't know exactly who Slimer was prior to becoming… this, but we met him about twenty years ago in an old hotel. According to the staff, they'd been seeing this grease ball since the 1920's. He never hurt anyone, and the staff tended to try and keep people off the twelfth floor. All he ever really cared about was food."

"So… why's he called Slimer?" Axle asked, only to have his free hand covered in a green slime. Axle blinked in surprise, not seemingly able to form words. Peter began to say either a 'Sorry kid' or a 'That's why'. But Axle spoke up before he could:

"That's awesome!" Axle exclaimed, his eyes wide as he looked at the Ectoplasm on his hand. "Wait. This isn't acidic, is it?"

"Not that we know of." Peter shrugged.

"Ignore him." Winston spoke up from the back. "It's harmless. He's just messing with you."

Axle nodded and kept driving, checking his GPS, noticing they'd be there soon. He had to admit, this was one of his better jobs. These guys were cool, even the onion-like green ghost seemed friendly. Although Axle did wonder who or what Slimer had been before he became a ghost.

"So, look, I'm not gonna sit here and act like I'm some sort of scientist or religious scholar, but I always assumed that when someone died, their spirit moved onto the afterlife." Axle spoke up again, a mixture of wonder and confusion in his voice. "Does that mean that ghosts are people who died and escaped the afterlife? Or are they here by some other force?"

"That's a loaded question Axle." Ray answered, thinking about his answer. "We've ran into ghosts that had escaped Hell, but we've also met ghosts that act as a sort of necessary evil with no beginning." When Axle didn't respond, he added: "Like, okay. We've met ghosts that are created by manifesting out of nightmares, that aren't people who died and became ghosts, but at the same time, we've fought ghosts who came back either for vengeance, or because they don't understand that their dead."

"So, when I die, I can say 'No U' to whatever exists and come back as a ghost?" Axle asked with a raised brow. "That dosen't seem right…"

"Well… uh… Egon, you gor the answer here?"

The scientists looked up from his device, and it wasn't clear if he had heard the conversation or not.

"Hm? Ah, well. There's no clear answer to that." He replied in his flat tone. "The theories I've come up with are either specters come back depending on the means of their death, or through other practices including dark arts."

"Okay, yeah… I guess that makes sense." Axle nodded in agreement. "Oh hey! I think I see the shop!"

Everyone looked to see a fish and chips shop that had an ominous yellow glow to it. As the car came closer, a ghost pirate came flying out through the front, laughing insanely, swinging his sword around, smashing garbage cans and a newspaper box.

"You can stop here kid." Peter said. Axle nodded and brought the car to a stop.

"Alright, we wired you the money, thanks for the lift!"

"Yeah, thanks kid!" Winston smirked. "If we ever need your help…"

"Who ya gonna call?" Ray finished. "This dude!"

Axle laughed and shook his head, turning his car off and unlocking his trunk as they grabbed their proton packs and activated them. Slimer garbled a good-bye and waved, Axle smiled and waved back.

"Grab your stick!" Peter called as the Ghostbusters grabbed their sticks.

"Ho!"

"Heat em' up!" Winston added.

"Smoking!" They all shouted.

"We came, we saw, we're gonna kick his ass!" Ray shouted.

Axle watched the light show for a minute, amazed by the fight between a ghost pirate captain and four dudes with nuclear backpacks. Finally, he knew he had to get back home and finish the art for the school he was commissioned to make. So begrudgingly, he put his car in reverse and headed for a home, humming a tune he hadn't heard but was now stuck in his head as he went.

"If there's something strange, in your neighbourhood, who ya gonna call?" He sang to himself as he drove into the night.

 **Sorry this took so long to update. Other things came up. If you have recommendations or requests for who Axle should drive, leave it in a review! See you later.**


	3. Coffee and Weird Tentacle Things

Location: Axel's Place

Time: 3:27 PM

Axle sipped from his glass and looked out the window. It was a gray day, everything was still and quiet. To some, this would suck, but to Axle, it was calming. It smelled like it might rain, but there wasn't a storm in the news… but then again, the weather had changed frequently, and without warning. Axle sighed and pushed the glass away, the ice clinking in the empty glass. If there was a downside to his job, it was that he couldn't drink. Since he never knew when a contract would come up, he mostly found himself having to suffice on soda and energy drinks. He didn't mind too much, but there were some days when he _really_ wanted a beer. Or rum. Still, that's what days off were for. He pushed his chair back and headed to the fridge, picking up a baggy of cut carrots, he poured some bits into Ragnarök's cage, and smirked as the hamster took to munching away on his food.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep…_

Axle had grabbed the phone before he had turned around, it wasn't a call this time, but a text from dispatch.

 _Two riders. 42_ _nd_ _Street, Viz Ave. Case: Gray_

 _Do you accept?_

" _Huh… a gray case?"_ Axle thought. He hadn't seen one of those… man… he couldn't remember the last time he had one of these. He hesitated before replying, he knew what this meant, either an extreme threat, or no threat at all. He was always a bit annoyed with the extreme levels of secrecy used when getting clients, but he understood why. If his last two jobs were anything to go by, sometimes people needed a little bit of privacy, and in other cases, no one would believe him if he said anything… so why bother trying to tell someone?

"Screw it, nothing ventured, nothing gained right?" Axle muttered, looking to Ragnarök, who was still eating a bit of carrot.

 _Accepted. On my way right now. Did they request a specific vehicle?_ Axle tested back as he went to his key drawer. It took a minute, but he got a simple reply:

 _No._

He looked around and then grabbed a set of keys, picking up Ragnarök out of his large cage and moving him to the travel cage he kept on the dashboards of his vehicles. The hamster squeaked in annoyance as it wasn't done eating his carrots.

"I'll give you a whole one later buddy, we have a job to do." Axle said with a smirk as he entered his garage and pulled away from his home.

As he drove, Axle began thinking about the message. Namely, the code gray warning. His department had six 'cases' as they were nicknamed, that would sometimes be sent in messages to let a driver know what kind of job they were offered, and to give them the chance to accept or decline. Gray was simply 'Unknown'. Axle had heard stories about drivers who had taken gray cases and ended up traumatized, while others had great times. Axle sighed, he knew what he was getting into, and he had agreed to this job, so… unless he wanted to forfeit the job and be briefly bagged, he had to keep going.

"Let's just hope whoever I'm pickin' up is chill, or at least isn't travelling too far away." Axle said, looking to his hamster, who was pushing shavings around. About twenty minutes later, Axle pulled to a stop outside from where he was meeting his clients, casting a glance around, he noticed two figures walking towards his car. One of the two, a male, had a black jacket and snow-white hair, as well as what looked like some sort of mask on the lower half of his face that he pulled down as he approached, while the other, a woman, had dark blueish-purple hair and a light blue jacket.

"Hey." The woman said in a dry tone. "You Axle?"

"Yeah, get in." Axle said, keeping his tone even. From the three words the woman had said, he believed that this was going to be a 'silent and focused' job. The two got in, the woman sitting shotgun to Axle and the man sitting in the middle in the back. Once they were secure, Axle turned to the blue-haired woman. "Where we goin'?"

"Anteiku Coffee House." The woman replied. Axle blinked in confusion and she added: "It's on Towada street."

"That…that's a bit of a drive." Axle said aloud, more to himself than anyone. "you lookin' to get there discreetly? Or just get there?"

"Either." The woman said, turning and looking out the front, only to see the hamster running around spastically.

"A'right." Axle nodded, pulling back onto the road. "If Rag's being an issue, I can move him to the back."

"Rags?" The man asked with a raised brow.

"Ragnarök." Axle explained.

"Ah." The man said, a small smirk forming on his face, clearly amused. The car went quiet again as Axle checked his phone, this was a much longer drive than he usually did. This wasn't the longest run he had made, but if this was a code gray…

" _Relax dude. You've got Bones' number if you need it… just drive."_

Axle decided to just focus, watching his phone every now and then to ensure they were going in the right direction. There was… something weird about the two. There was a strong aroma surrounding both of them. It smelled like… coffee?

" _Stop. Dude. Just focus… Just… drive."_

It had been about forty minutes when the female finally broke the silence.

"My name's Touka." Touka finally said, her hair still covering one of her eyes. "He's Kaneki." She pointed to the man in the back, not bothering to turn and look.

"You can call me Ken." Kaneki remarked. "You were Axel, right?"

"Axle. But uh… yeah." Axle nodded. "Yeah."

"You've been doing this for a while, haven't you?" Kaneki asked. Axle cast a quick glance to the mirror before giving a shrug.

"A few years yeah." Axle nodded, knowing that per his contract he couldn't say _too_ much. Thankfully, his answer seemed to satisfy Kaneki.

Axle looked up ahead, noticing they were heading onto a highway… that was suspiciously empty. Axle raised a brow but hit the turn signal regardless, and finally let his engine open up a bit more. He let a smile come to his face as the roar of the engine could be somewhat heard.

A few cars passed in the opposite direction, but that wasn't what gave Axle hesitation. He noticed on an upcoming sign, there was some…one crouching on top of the sign as they drove under the sign. Axle could've sworn he saw some sort of beak-like (what he was assuming was) mask on the figure's face. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Touka seemed to grimace slightly as well, as if she recognized the figure. Axle slowly reached for the handgun he kept stashed on the driver's side door.

"Don't." Touka said, not even bothering to look at Axle, making him freeze and the car shook slightly before he got control again. "Don't worry about him."

"You-" Axle began, but cut himself off, he knew better than to question what was happening. "Never mind."

He checked his phone, seeing they were just over half-way… great.

"Hey, uh… you guys want something to eat? I got some bars in the back." Axle offered, reaching for one and sticking it into his hoodie pocket. He noticed Touka sour and Kaneki bit his lip.

"No, but thanks for the offer." He said.

"Oh. Okay…" He said. _"Good going dumbass."_

"It's not you." Touka shook her head, sensing his apprehension. "It's… it's a long story."

"I'll take your word on it." Axle nodded. As they kept driving, he noticed the figure from earlier re-appear a few times. However, he didn't react the way he had before, he just kept on driving. But it was clearly unnerving, not just to him, but to Touka as well. So… Axle decided to try and change the subject.

"Hey, this uh… Anteiku place, it's a coffee house, right?" He asked.

"More of a café, but close enough." Kaneki remarked. "It's gone through a few different names as well. Black Goat, Anteiku, :re…"

"Re?" Axle asked in confusion.

"It's a Japanese spelling." Kaneki added.

"Ah."

Axle felt himself relaxing, so he was heading to a café, nice. That was more than good enough for him. He felt himself relax and slip back into the usual driving vibe he did these jobs with. Touka meanwhile was watching Ragnarök chewing on a bar, looking up at her with what could be seen as caffeine-fueled energy.

"Don't worry, he isn't violent. He's just dumb." Axle said with a smirk. "Ragnarök is… yeah, he's just kinda dumb."

"He's a hamster, I don't think they were the smartest to begin with." Touka replied.

"Hey that's… very true." Axle conceded. "I mean HOLY S-!"

Axle stomped on the breaks and spun the wheel hard to the left. The figure he had seen a few times was standing directly in front of them. It seemed like Touka and Kaneki were going to do something, but Axle grabbed the hand break and drifted around the figure, before stomping on the breaks, bringing the car to a stop.

"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Axle shouted, a mixture of shock and anger in fear. "And what's his problem?!"

"…I don't know." Touka said quietly.

"Damn… he's acting weirder than that freakish ghoul I was dealing with the other week." Axle muttered to himself. However, Touka overheard this and her body language shifted drastically from one of indifference and silence to furious hatred.

"Stop the car." She ordered.

"What?"

"STOP THE DAMN CAR!" She shouted. Axle slammed on the breaks and pulled over. Without saying a word, Touka got out and stormed off.

"…was it something I- oh, sweet Christ." Axle asked turning around but froze in terror when he saw one of Kaneki's eyes change to a bright blood red. Kaneki cracked one of his fingers, using only that finger, something which impressed and freaked Axle out at the same time. He reached for his gun, but Kaneki seemed to notice.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He said in a low tone.

"Y..you two… you're ghouls?" Axle blinked, everything suddenly connecting at once. No wonder this was a Gray case. Sure, while they were most prevalent in certain sections of Japan, Axle had heard stories of the flesh-eating Ghouls, and he never expected he was going to come face-to-face with one. _"And that explains their apprehension to the bars…"_

"Yeah, and you just _really_ pissed off one of the Ghoul's you _never_ wanna piss off." Kanreki nodded slowly.

"Touka?"

"Me."

"Oh."

"Now, I'm gonna give you ten seconds to either explain yourself, or run. I won't kill you, but I won't let you escape unharmed either."

Axle's mind began racing all over. What should he do!? Run for it and call Bones? Or stay here and try to talk his way out of this sticky situ- Wait! That's it!

"Okay, I'm breaking contract by doing this." Axle began slowly, opening the door and getting out, Kaneki following, Axle felt his heart drop as what looked like tendrils began sprouting from Kaneki's back. "A week or so ago, I was hired to drive these guys to a fish and chips place. They call themselves the Ghostbusters."

"Right." Kaneki said, his expression unreadable.

"They had a ghost with them, this green guy named Slimer, he was a flying ball of slime." Axle explained as he slowly opened his bag, taking out the jar with the ecto-slime he got when Slimer… slimed him. "They reffered to him as a 'ghoul' in the traditional 'ghosts n' ghouls' way. I had no idea you two were Ghouls, and I'm sorry. I… I didn't mean to offend you."

"Hm."

Axle jumped as he spun around, seeing Touka right behind him. She took the jar from him before he could react and studied it.

"So, ghosts are real?" She asked, seemingly having heard the whole thing.

"Yeah. Some people refer to them as Ghouls."

Touka looked at the jar for a few moments, then up at Axle. She seemed to be studying his eyes, looking to see if he was being honest. Finally, she passed the jar back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you like that." She said, her anger seeming to be more… contained. He heard a sickening sound of what sounded like flesh ripping, and noticed out of the corner of his eye, that Kaneki had returned to normal.

"No, _I'M_ sorry." Axle shook his head. "I should've kept quiet or, just…"

"Look, none of us really communicated that well during this trip." Kaneki cut in, speaking rather bluntly. "We thought you _knew_ we were Ghouls."

"No, I swear! If I had, I never would've-"

"Hey, kid. Breathe." Touka cut in, sensing Axle's nervousness. "And to answer your question, that guy you saw… he was my brother."

The way Touka said that made it clear there was a bit of history between the pair, and most of it wasn't good. Axle knew better than to ask _ANYTHING,_ both to keep his job, but more importantly, keep himself alive.

"If… if he wanted a ride, he could've gone with you two." Axle frowned. "I don't charge per person."

"No, it's… it's personal." Touka explained. "He-"

She stopped when she saw Axle nod and hold his hands up.

"I don't need to know." He said calmly. "Whatever your problems with him are, they're not my problems. It's clear you don't really wanna talk about it, so you don't need to."

The trio stood on the side of the road for about a minute, until Kaneki broke the silence again.

"So… we good to go?"

"Yeah, if you two are ready, let's wrap this up." Axle nodded. This time, Kaneki took shotgun (after sliding across the hood of the car and clearly trying to beat Touka to it, much to her annoyance.) and Touka rode in the back.

"So, this is my only question. And this is mainly to know for future reference." Axle finally spoke up, the destination fast approaching. "Is there anything… uh… human food-y a Ghoul can eat?"

"Coffee." Kaneki and Touka said at the same time. "For some reason, Ghouls have no issue with coffee."

"Okay, good to know." Axle nodded. "Oh, hey. We're here."

Pulling into a parking spot, Axle shut off his car and sighed.

"Thanks kid." Kaneki smirked. "And no hard feelings, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Totally." Axle smirked back in response.

"She won't admit to it, but she feels guilty." Kaneki said, pointing to Touka, who seemed to have a noticeable reaction, her face reddening in both anger and embarrassment. "Hey, you wanna get a coffee while you're here?"

Axle blinked, thinking it over. _Technically_ his job was done… but if he took another… oh… ten minutes to call it in, it wouldn't hurt anyone. Right?

Eh, either way Axle was gonna do just that.

"Sure." He nodded.

 **A.N. So… sorry this took so long. I really like this story, but I was either working on other stories, or just had no ideas for it. I've got a bunch of ideas, and will try to keep making short chapters and having fun with it. If you've got any suggestions, leave em in the reviews!**


End file.
